Just Lay Down
part of the BIG SPANKABLE ASSES anthology
When three Chicago girlfriends find they aren’t getting any, they get serious. They want men who know their way around a woman’s body—and how to provide the ultimate in stimulating pleasure…it’s over the knee and over the top…
After she left her husband, Lilliana Michaels never expected to want a man again. But rock-hard Josh Ellis is far too fine to pass up. He’s got plenty to teach her about pleasure—and he’s so good with his hands that Lilly wants them all over her…
“What we really need is a man who knows what the hell he’s doing! I am so tired of faking it, not getting any, or turning to Big Tom to catch a thrill! And lately Tom has been eating into my budget, for real. I’ve bought more batteries than you can shake a stick at…”
“Simone, girl, please! I don’t know about you two, but I think it’s all hype anyway,” Melinda said in disgust as she sipped her drink.
“What’s all hype? Orgasms?” Simone frowned and paused to take a sip of her drink.
“Orgasms, multiple orgasms, g-spot, whatever…all of it!”
“So says the woman who never has had one,” Lilliana piped in and laughed.
“Oh, and you’re an expert?” Melinda raised an eyebrow.
“No… but I’ve had a couple here and there, ” Lilliana said, sipping her martini as she sat with her two best friends, Melinda Carlisle and Simone Thomas in their favorite booth at Hooters, drinking, gossiping and winding down with the rest of the early evening crowd.
“Well, I don’t know about you two, but I’m no stranger to the ultimate thrill, it’s just…been a while, that’s all. And for a chick like me? A toy can only provide so much relief. I need a man. A real man. One that doesn’t require batteries,” Simone said on a sigh as she sat back in the booth, her eyes restless as she surveyed the crowd.
“Ummm. Yeah, I know what you mean, girl. Since I’ve returned home, well actually since I left Marcus two years ago…”
“Thank GOD you saw the light and finally left that loser…”
“Simone!” Melinda cautioned.
“What? We all know that jackass was a sorry excuse for a man. No man puts his hands on a woman. Period. End of subject. He was lucky all our girl did was give him a black eye with that vase she bashed over his head when he tried to hit her again. He should be thanking God that when she knocked him out, she didn’t lay his ass out to rest! I would have,” Simone said grimly and the women were silent for a minute.
“Well, you’re back home and we’re thankful for that. I missed you! Long distance calls and occasional visits are nothing like having you here at home.” Melinda reached over and enveloped Lilliana in a hug.
“Thanks, Mel. It feels good to be home,” she said, returning the hug and gave a small half-smile.
“I missed you too, Lil. It’s kind of like old times, the three of us together again. Remember how you’d sneak out of the house, when your brothers and your mom were asleep?” Simone asked and all three women laughed in memory.
“That was the only time I ever had any fun! If it hadn’t been for you two, I don’t know what I would have done.”
“I tell you what you would have done. Watched your brothers’ twenty-four-seven. That’s what would have happened,” Melinda finished and shook her head. “Girl, I still don’t understand why your mother did that to you. You and Glenn are only a year or so apart weren’t you? And the twins weren’t that much younger than Glenn.”
“She worked late nights sometimes and she was beat. She said she didn’t have energy to deal with us, especially the younger ones after working twelve-hour shifts at the factory.” Lilliana shrugged her shoulders.
“Why do you always do that?” Simone asked after a slight pause.
“Excuse your mom.”
“I don’t excuse her. It happened and I don’t want to dwell on it. It was in the past, it has nothing to do with the present, so can we just not go there tonight? I thought we were talking about men, anyway…not my mama,” Lilliana asked and barely refrained from rolling her eyes. She glanced down at her drink and caught the subtle elbow nudge that Melinda gave Simone and Simone’s answering grimace.
“Like I was saying. I am in total agreement with you on the whole it’s been a while syndrome!”
Melinda laughed, “I had no idea lack of sex was a syndrome.”
“It is when it’s been a while since you had any.”
“Hmmm. Especially when it’s been a while since you had it put on you right! And the official name for it is PID,” Simone returned drolly.
“Pelvic Inflammatory Disease?” Melinda was a nurse and naturally applied a medical term to the acronym.
“Hell no! Pussy In Distress Syndrome!” Simone said.
“Okay? Girl!” Lilliana agreed and all three women laughed.
“So what do we do about it?” Melinda asked after they’d stopped laughing.
“Do? What do you mean?”
“Hold on…let me get the waitress over here,” Simone raised her arm to capture the woman’s attention.
“Do you think Hooters would hire me?” Lilliana asked out of the blue.
“What in the world? Why do you want to work at Hooters? Don’t you like your temp job I set up for you?” Melinda asked Lilliana before she turned to Simone. “I don’t think I need another drink, Simone! My head is already reeling from the two I’ve already had!”
“Give me a break! It’s Friday night…what else you got planned?” Simone said and turned her head. Her long, honey blond, relaxed hair whipped around with her as she snapped her fingers to try and get the waitress’ attention.
“Yes, I do like the job. It’s going really well… I’ll have another one, Simone,” Lilliana laughed, easily moving back and forth with the conversation. She turned to Melinda. “I was just wondering if they’d hire me. I mean look at these chicks.”
They all glanced around at the mid-riff, t-shirt wearing waitresses, bustling around the bar and grille, big boobs bouncing as they served drinks and food.
“What about them? What are you complaining about? You’ve got more than enough going on up top. Both of you heffa’s do…it’s my behind they wouldn’t hire. All ass and no tits!” Melinda humphed.
“Yeah, I got the boobs, but it’s the rest of me they wouldn’t dig, girl. Not only do I have the tits, I got the ass, thighs and hips to go along with it,” Lilliana argued.
“Well, at least you’re evened out. Got a nice small waist…I’d love to have more on top to go along with this butt of mine,” Melinda insisted.
“Whatever! I don’t know what kind of man you’re used to…oh wait. That’s right!” Simone snapped two fingers together. “You were married to that bougie fool, Edmond. His wannabe ass wouldn’t know a real woman if she came up behind him and pimp slapped him! That’s why he didn’t know what to do with you, Mel. You’re a real woman, and once you stopped living in his “image” he didn’t know what to do!”
Lilliana couldn’t help smiling at her friends. It felt good to be home with friends who knew and loved her. She’d been back in Chicago for less than a month, yet it already felt right. She’d felt nervous returning home after being away so long, but her girls had made her feel comfortable in no time.
Her gaze traveled over her friends as they discussed the pros and cons of tits versus ass.
Simone was beautiful, vivacious and didn’t care what anyone thought of her. She spoke her mind at all times, although sometimes Lilliana wondered how much was bravado and how much was real. No matter what, the woman had it goidng on. She loved Simone and wished she had a tenth of her sheer bravado.
Melinda was tall and thin and pretty. But no matter how thin she was…sista girl still had an ass. Not as much as Simone, and nothing compared to hers, but she wasn’t flat by any stretch of the imagination. Although not as outrageous in her manner or dress as Simon, Melinda was pretty, vivacious, and now that she’d finally left her abusive husband, she too, seemed ready for something new.
“Are you listening, Lilly? What do you think? Sound good?”
“I think that’s cool!” Lillian answered, although she didn’t know what in the world they were talking about.
“Are you serious? You want to do it? Okay, so Melinda you’re going to be left out, girl! Come on, it’ll be funny as hell if nothing else. Just think if someone actually answers the ad! Damn!”
“What ad? You just said you thought it was cool! I knew you weren’t paying attention. The ad we’re going to take out to find a man who knows how to handle a big spankable ass, that’s what ad! While you were spacing out, we were talking about taking out an ad…”
“You were talking about taking out an ad,” Melinda quickly interjected.
“Fine, I was talking about taking out an ad in the Reader to try and find a man who knows how to, uh…” Simone hesitated.
“Don’t act shy now, ” Melinda laughed.
“I’m not shy about it! To try and find a man who knows what he’s doing in bed. One who knows exactly how to please a woman,” Simone said and paused to take a sip of her drink.
“Wait a minute…first off, are you serious? An ad in the Reader looking for a man? And how many of those have you had?” Lilliana asked, referring to the oversized glass of margarita in Simone’s hand.
“This is my third…I think,” Simone disregarded the question with a wave of her French manicured hand and continued. “And not just any man. We want one who knows how to…”
“Yeah, I got that! One who knows how to handle a big spankable ass! Girl, what?” Lilliana started chuckling and before they knew it all three women were cracking up with laughter.
“Hold up, hold up! I’m serious!”
“Okay, so explain this to me. Ooh, Lord. Simone you are nuts!”
Lilliana gasped trying to get her laughter in check.
“Welll…” Simone started and dragged the word out. “We’ve all been complaining lately about not getting any good loving. I, for one, am tired as hell of relying on my vibrator for relief. I’m also tired of being alone and my love life sucks serious monkey balls. The brotha’s I’ve been dealing with lately are working my last nerve! The latest one lost his damn job and his erection! I can deal with one, but I damn sure am not dealing with both! I tried my damndest to be sympathetic but when he started taking it out on me, that’s where I draw the line! I want a living, breathing, man. A real man. I want to try things I’ve never tried before. I want adventure. I want a man to lay it on me. I want him to spank my fat ass…and make me like it,” Simone paused and looked directly at Lilliana.
Lilliana felt like a deer caught in the headlights.
“How about you Lil? Aren’t you tired of the game? Are you with me? What better way to find exactly what we’re looking for than to advertise? Are you both with me?”
Simone sat back in the booth, folded her arms across her breasts and with one brow raised and a half-smile on her face she slowly raised her glass of apple martini high in the air and waited.
Lilliana felt a curious excitement settle in her lower belly. The kind of tingle that meant she was going to do something bold, crazy, and unlike anything she probably would have thought of on her own. She laughed out loud.
“Hell yes, girl…count me in!” she raised her half-full glass and they both turned to Melinda.
Melinda had a small, half-smile on her face and she raised her glass as well. “What the hell, what can go wrong? It’s not like anyone is going to actually answer the ad correctly,” she laughed and with a clink all around the ladies toasted in agreement and ordered another round of drinks.